August 29, 2007

hard days

The age of 3 has been really hard for us. 2 was tough in that he often didn't have the verbal skills to get across what he needed to, but then 3's been hard cuz he has great verbal skills, but along with it a nasty attitude flares up, the last couple days especially! It truly wears me down and out. I feel like almost every response is an argument or disagreement or a whine or complaint or gripe. I have a great book on my nightstand called ......"Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad You and Your Kids".....I started it a while ago and then got preoccupied with other books (and blogging!)....but I think I might need to pick it up again. I also like Love and Logic's philosophy, so I think I need to get a refresher thru some books or tapes or something...I just need some tangible tools to combat the negativity. And I need to remember to rely on the Holy Spirit to help me respond the right way.

We started a sticker chart this morning to help reward him for things (like how today he made his bed before he even came upstairs!) or helping out around the house or whatever, and also that if he has a bad attitude we'll have to take the stickers off the chart. So he started off great with a couple stickers, but shortly afterwards we had to take them down and throw them in the trash because he had a 30 minute tantrum because I wouldn't carry him up the stairs. I know it sounds dumb, but it was one of those silly battles that I just couldn't give in to. Poor guy, I know it wears him out, too, and he's just trying to learn how to behave the right way. I've always heard that 4 is such a sweet and precious age, maybe things will get better soon. :-)


Christi said...

It took me about 20 minutes to read this post cause I had to keep stopping to handle another 3 year old's whines and complains. Man, these years are so tough, but definitely the most growth. Big, mean, bully one minute, biggest sweetie ever the next. I want to get some Love and Logic tapes so maybe we can trade some resources back and forth.

E&K said... was so good to read this post and once again realize I'm not alone! This week has been a battle for us as well (and Molly is just a week shy of 4!). I so understand about EVERYTHING being a battle. Who is the author of that book? We also like Love and Logic, but I often need to remind myself to put it into practice. We've been using marbles and a happy jar and sad jar. Right now the sad jar has more than the happy jar, but it is getting better. (We stole that idea from has really worked for them!) Be encouraged that we are all going through this, and that you are doing a good job!

Amy said...

Hey girl, we're all in this together! Not the most fun age every minute of the day, is it? I thought things would just get easier as they grow up, but I'm finding it's just harder in different ways. More emotionally tough than physically tough now, huh? I hate how it causes me to second guess myself and my parenting (which of course, is far from perfect) all the time. A frustrating stage, but one we'll survive with the Lord's help. There is something comforting though, knowing we're all going thru similar things. Makes me have a little more sympathy for Kaylin.

Michelle said...

You're right, Amy....knowing so many others are going thru it, too, does make me have a little more sympathy for Carson. Kylene...the authors of that book are Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. I get these free Biblical parenting tips from them every Monday and I've found them to be very helpful and usually pretty practical. You can look up the National Center for Biblical Parenting and sign up for free, too.

Belleza Family said...

Hey girls...what are you talking about??? Tantrums...those are just for two year olds. Just kidding. Every day brings our challenges indeed. I just read, "Shepherding a child's heart" by Ted Tripp and I also have heard that "Training Up a Child" by Debi Pearl is good...there are some things that you can give and take.
Ahhhh.....parenthood. Number three anyone??? Christian says that we are done!
That is another subject for another day......D

Barb and Andy said...

I just had a 20 minute ANGRY screaming fit from my just 4 year old. Oh my. It's amazing to me how quickly they bounce back...if only I could do the same. I'm still struggling through these things confident that I need Jesus desperately for both the anger I feel in response and the wisdom to respond as I need. All that to say, it is good to be reminded this is part of growing up...and part of being a mom.