I feel like a dark cloud that's been lingering over my life has blown away today. It's just been a rough week, or couple weeks, but especially this week.
God is so awesome to give us new mercies every morning, and I feel like today after I spent a little time realizing that I've been giving in to the temptation to feel defeated and discouraged and stressed, etc., and confessing that I wasn't letting the Lord be on the throne in my life in every area, and just putting some things down in an email to a friend, I just feel lighter.
Jesus says: "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest".....so I did, and he did. What a wonderful God.
I also decided I need to be taking better care of myself...so I tried to eat better today and drink more water and I think it resulted in more energy and clearer thinking. I read in my Real Simple magazine a long while back that drinking water helps with clear thinking, and it makes sense. I never really put the two together, but I really think it's true.
Nothing huge going on, just dealing with trying to get the kids to behave in public, and to have them be more respectful in the way they talk to me, etc. Carson had a mega-tantrum as we were leaving Costco....I thought we were done with those....but he was so mad that I wouldn't let us eat pizza there since he wouldn't listen to me while we were standing in line. I had asked him to stop chasing Livi around because it makes her crazy and she screams with glee, but it just gets out of hand, especially in a place where there are so many people around. So when he continued to do it, we just stepped out of line and walked out the door....fortunately he didn't realize what was going on till we got outside, but it wasn't pretty on our way to the car.....screaming, crying, boy was he mad, mad, mad. He must have said "but I want to eat pizza here!!!" thru all the crying at least 65 times....the whole way home. It was not fun.
Then later in the day yesterday we had to go to the post office and we had to wait a long time, and they were just being crazy and I couldn't get control of them. I was feeling really hot and sweaty from the stress. The clerk offered them stickers once we finally got to the counter, but I told them we weren't going to be able to take them today, can't reward that kind of behavior. Arggg. So we left and on our way home Carson made some sort of snotty "na-na-na-na-na" comment and it just set me over the top and I started crying, cried the whole way home. And he got a spanking for disobeying me, but at dinner he told Livi with a smile that it didn't hurt.
Gee whiz, this mom thing can be rough, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. With Mother's Day approaching, I've just been thinking about my precious little kiddos and all the wonder that they are. I'm so grateful to be their mom, I just pray that God will give me the grace to lead them in the way they should go, and that He would help me not go crazy in the mean time! :-)